The happiest place on Earth
Yes, World, I have been to Disneyland. So have Matt and Megan, but that information is perhaps less newsworthy, since they had both been there before. And what a time we had. Let me start from the beginning.
We went to the Daily Grind for breakfast, and it was yummy. I got a cranberry streusel muffin and a small coffee. Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm. And I didn't even have to stop during the drive to go to the bathroom. And that's a good thing, because it was a looooong drive. We didn't hit much traffic until about 30 miles from Anaheim, but from there on, it was pretty slow. But we got there, and it was a miracle, and it was so damned easy to go where we wanted to go. Basically right off of the highway there is a sign that points you to the express route to the theme parks, which dumps you right into the creepily well-organized parking structure. You don't have to think about a thing because the talented "cast members" direct you into your very parking spot. I was more than amazed.
Thus far I have left out an important detail: it was windy and rainy out, and I was quite soured on the idea of driving three hours to spend $50 to freeze my ass off in lines all afternoon. And, sure enough, we got out of the car and onto the tram that takes you to the park entrance, and I wanted to die because I was so cold. And I was not the only one. In fact, I would have forgotten about Disneyland's motto if a frustrated father hadn't hissed to his whimpering child in line for the tram, "This is the happiest place on Earth. Start SMILING."
So, we got to the park and by this time I really did have to go to the bathroom, and we were cold and hungry and unsure of what the day would bring. So we had lunch at a restaurant outside of the park, where it turns out they didn't have a bathroom. What the hell? To be fair, they only had five tables, so maybe I shouldn't have expected a bathroom, but still. I was peeved. So Megan and I ordered our lunch and then fought our way to the very back of the Disney store and found the bathroom. I was surprised that there were only two stalls and even more surprised that there was no line. We thought that that probably bode well for the rest of the day. We returned to find Matt looking lonely at the table with all of our lunches in front of him. So we ate lunch (it was very good), Matt went to find the bathroom and we were ready to start our Disney adventure for real.
Right away, something happened to make us happy: we found out that, as residents of southern California, we could buy a two-day pass for the price of one. It would allow us go to Disneyland one day and then Disney California Adventure on a different day before April 30. Or we could enter both parks on one day and forfeit the second day. We thought it was highly unlikely that we'd make it back to Anaheim again before April 30, but the price was exactly the same as a regular one-day pass, so we did that, figuring we could give the passes away.
So, finally we entered the park, and this is where I have to tell all of you who didn't already know this that I worked for four summers at an amusement park when I was a teenager. As a result, I have little admiration for the amusement-park industry in general, and I wasn't expecting to be particularly impressed. I was dead wrong, though. I would characterize Disneyland as Las Vegas for kids. Sure, lots of people hate Las Vegas, but for me, the naive tourist, Las Vegas was quite a sight to behold. It was pretty and fancy and interesting, and I'd say the same about Disneyland. I can't imagine the money that goes into keeping the park looking so good. Imaginative people with eyes for detail put that place together, and for me, it works.
So anyway, the park is gorgeous, but let's get to the part about Indiana Jones. That was the first ride that we went to, and it remained my favorite. I don't want to say too much about it for those of you who may never have experienced it, but I thought it was fantastic. It was just scary enough to be fun, but not in a roller-coaster kind of way. And we only waited for half an hour, even though the sign said that it would be a sixty-minute wait. We next went to Pirates of the Caribbean, which was also cool and the Haunted Mansion, which was OK, but not as good as the first two. From there we went on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, which was the most like a roller coaster of any of them. It was fun and not too scary. Well, I guess it was kind of scary compared to the Flying Dumbos and the carousel, which were the next two rides we went on. And from there we went to It's a Small World, which I really liked. Sure, it was kind of dated, but its intent is nice, and I didn't find the music half as annoying as I expected to. We next braved the Matterhorn Bobsleds, which was pretty fun, but not nearly as fast as we thought it would be. We finished off the day with Honey, I Shrunk the Audience and Star Tours and then headed back for one last gratifying ride on the Indiana Jones Adventure before we caught a tram back to the parking structure. We had dinner at a country-themed karaoke bar and Italian restaurant, and got home sometime before midnight.
And the next day Megan and I went one last time to the Daily Grind, and I dropped her off at the car rental place, and off she went to her conference. I will see her again in just a few weeks at the social event of the year, otherwise known as Debbie's wedding.
Yes, World, I have been to Disneyland. So have Matt and Megan, but that information is perhaps less newsworthy, since they had both been there before. And what a time we had. Let me start from the beginning.
We went to the Daily Grind for breakfast, and it was yummy. I got a cranberry streusel muffin and a small coffee. Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm. And I didn't even have to stop during the drive to go to the bathroom. And that's a good thing, because it was a looooong drive. We didn't hit much traffic until about 30 miles from Anaheim, but from there on, it was pretty slow. But we got there, and it was a miracle, and it was so damned easy to go where we wanted to go. Basically right off of the highway there is a sign that points you to the express route to the theme parks, which dumps you right into the creepily well-organized parking structure. You don't have to think about a thing because the talented "cast members" direct you into your very parking spot. I was more than amazed.
Thus far I have left out an important detail: it was windy and rainy out, and I was quite soured on the idea of driving three hours to spend $50 to freeze my ass off in lines all afternoon. And, sure enough, we got out of the car and onto the tram that takes you to the park entrance, and I wanted to die because I was so cold. And I was not the only one. In fact, I would have forgotten about Disneyland's motto if a frustrated father hadn't hissed to his whimpering child in line for the tram, "This is the happiest place on Earth. Start SMILING."
So, we got to the park and by this time I really did have to go to the bathroom, and we were cold and hungry and unsure of what the day would bring. So we had lunch at a restaurant outside of the park, where it turns out they didn't have a bathroom. What the hell? To be fair, they only had five tables, so maybe I shouldn't have expected a bathroom, but still. I was peeved. So Megan and I ordered our lunch and then fought our way to the very back of the Disney store and found the bathroom. I was surprised that there were only two stalls and even more surprised that there was no line. We thought that that probably bode well for the rest of the day. We returned to find Matt looking lonely at the table with all of our lunches in front of him. So we ate lunch (it was very good), Matt went to find the bathroom and we were ready to start our Disney adventure for real.
Right away, something happened to make us happy: we found out that, as residents of southern California, we could buy a two-day pass for the price of one. It would allow us go to Disneyland one day and then Disney California Adventure on a different day before April 30. Or we could enter both parks on one day and forfeit the second day. We thought it was highly unlikely that we'd make it back to Anaheim again before April 30, but the price was exactly the same as a regular one-day pass, so we did that, figuring we could give the passes away.
So, finally we entered the park, and this is where I have to tell all of you who didn't already know this that I worked for four summers at an amusement park when I was a teenager. As a result, I have little admiration for the amusement-park industry in general, and I wasn't expecting to be particularly impressed. I was dead wrong, though. I would characterize Disneyland as Las Vegas for kids. Sure, lots of people hate Las Vegas, but for me, the naive tourist, Las Vegas was quite a sight to behold. It was pretty and fancy and interesting, and I'd say the same about Disneyland. I can't imagine the money that goes into keeping the park looking so good. Imaginative people with eyes for detail put that place together, and for me, it works.
So anyway, the park is gorgeous, but let's get to the part about Indiana Jones. That was the first ride that we went to, and it remained my favorite. I don't want to say too much about it for those of you who may never have experienced it, but I thought it was fantastic. It was just scary enough to be fun, but not in a roller-coaster kind of way. And we only waited for half an hour, even though the sign said that it would be a sixty-minute wait. We next went to Pirates of the Caribbean, which was also cool and the Haunted Mansion, which was OK, but not as good as the first two. From there we went on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, which was the most like a roller coaster of any of them. It was fun and not too scary. Well, I guess it was kind of scary compared to the Flying Dumbos and the carousel, which were the next two rides we went on. And from there we went to It's a Small World, which I really liked. Sure, it was kind of dated, but its intent is nice, and I didn't find the music half as annoying as I expected to. We next braved the Matterhorn Bobsleds, which was pretty fun, but not nearly as fast as we thought it would be. We finished off the day with Honey, I Shrunk the Audience and Star Tours and then headed back for one last gratifying ride on the Indiana Jones Adventure before we caught a tram back to the parking structure. We had dinner at a country-themed karaoke bar and Italian restaurant, and got home sometime before midnight.
And the next day Megan and I went one last time to the Daily Grind, and I dropped her off at the car rental place, and off she went to her conference. I will see her again in just a few weeks at the social event of the year, otherwise known as Debbie's wedding.
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